Eligible Victims

Eligible Victims is a fanon episode of HTF. In this episode, Disco Bear enrages Mr. Pickles when he dates Lammy, while Richie finds someone of his own.

Starring

 * Disco Bear
 * Richie

Featuring

 * Lammy
 * Mr. Pickels
 * Crafty

Appearances

 * Lumpy
 * Cass
 * Buckley
 * The Zebra
 * Giggles
 * Petunia
 * Jacques

Plot
Richie wakes up to find his usual pile of money in front of his bed. Looking at the empty space, he feels like something is missing from his life. Spotting Disco Bear outside getting ready to impress girls, Richie gets an idea. Later, they and other males compete as eligible bachelors. Disco Bear appears on the catwalk and Lumpy the host explains his biography. After moments of silence, Disco Bear is soon picked by Lammy. Richie then appears and Lumpy says he is rich. The girls immediately start bidding for him, until Crafty wins.

Disco Bear takes Lammy to his house and tells her to wait on the couch. Upstairs he takes a shower, oblivious to Mr. Pickles entering the bathroom. He flushes the toilet and causes Disco Bear to scream. Lammy comes to investigate the noise and, seeing Mr. Pickles on the toilet bowl, reaches for him. Disco Bear peeps through the shower curtain to find that Lammy apparently flushed the toilet. He looks at her with a slightly irritated face.

Meanwhile, Richie returns to his mansion with Crafty, who is astonished by his wealth. He phones a French restaurant to arrange a fancy date. But the owner, Jacques, doesn't seem to understand Richie clearly. During the distraction, Crafty back and forth stuffing Richie's money in the car.

Now Lammy heads to her kitchen for dinner. But at the table she finds glasses of wine and a bowl of spaghetti, with disco music playing. Disco Bear appears in his bathrobe and invites Lammy over. Disco Bear offers a toast to their new relationship, but Mr. Pickles smashes a wine glass on his head. He opens his eyes to see Lammy holding the shattered glass. Mr. Pickles appears from behind and tries strangling Disco Bear with a strand of spaghetti. Lammy pounces and Disco Bear leaves in panic.

Back at the mansion, Richie is still talking to Jacques, and requests a chicken meal. Offended, Jacques hangs up. Richie turns around to find his safe open and empty. He runs outside and sees Crafty driving away with his gold, so he decides to phone the police. Crafty snickers, not paying attention to her driving and Disco Bear, drives away himself, crashes into her vehicle.

Disco Bear notices Crafty and tries flirting with her. A camera flash is heard, revealing Mr. Pickles took a photo of the moment. When Lammy finds out, she slaps Disco Bear and walks off. The spaghetti on Disco Bear's neck gets caught in the spinning wheel and he gets pulled in. Crafty picks up the gold scattered on the street, leading her to be hit by a police car.

Later on, Richie comes back home, having retrieved his money. As he gets into bed, he decides that if he couldn't get a woman, his gold will keep him company.

Deaths

 * 1) Disco Bear is killed by the wheel of his car.


 * 1) Crafty is ran over.

Trivia

 * The episode's title is a pun on Eligible Bachelors.
 * The Zebra is one of the bachelors seen at the beginning, along with Buckley and Cass.