Thread:1MysteriousEnigma/@comment-28713855-20151106142730/@comment-24583896-20151106182505

To be upfront and completely honest- I might have snapped, lashed out, and even chose to degrade you all to some extent, but in no way did I suggest you all commit suicide. I'm not that kind of person

I know I was being stubborn, it couldn't have been anymore obvious. However, my altercation with the seniors at the school goes beyond the incident that occurred yesterday. Based on what you've told me, perhaps you're familiar with being around a multitude of people who want to see you fail. Every single day. They have absolutely no respect for you, they'd find any reason to bring you down, and they run over you because you don't mean anything to them.

Their reason for mistreating you, however, has nothing to do with what you're doing, but what they're not doing. And when you've done something they didn't expect from you, the burden is placed on you and you have to miss out on class to meet with an administrator, filling out whiteness reports.

When I joined the chat yesterday to express my concern, I got you alls attention, I saw that. However, the subject drifted off topic before a solution was reached. What upset me about it- and I won't deny that I went a little overboard, if it had been any one of you, no matter how trivial the issue, I would have tried anything to ease the situation. I've done it countless times now: it doesn't matter if I'm busy, in public, in class, tired, or upset; if my friend has a concern, helping them through it becomes my number one priority.

In this case, I had a problem and decided to address those in the chatroom. I'm not lying when I say you all did not help me, but I know it's not entirely your fault. A great deal of it is my own. I didn't give you all enough time to help me out before I left and returned to call you out on it a few hours ago. However, you know the kind of person I am:

Let's say anyone of you in the chat had an issue and started to talk about it when suddenly, somebody brings up a new topic. The person was still upset over an issue and those (s)he consulted were not ambiguous about helping him or her although (s)he's gone great lengths for them time and time again. Feeling ignored and undervalued (s)he gets angry and leaves the chatroom. If I were you all, I would have figured no, the situation had not been handled thoroughly.

That being that case, I would have chosen to message the person somehow. I wouldn't expect an immediate response, but it's enough to show that I'm thinking of the person and wish the best for them. That is a better implication that I was trying to pursue a solution on their behalf.

You all did not help to bring about a solution for my issue last night, or in the very least, were lousy about it. So yeah, I was pretty upset

As for what I've stated this morning, I am very serious about never addressing you all about a personal issue from this point on. Because unless someone there attempts to appease the person who is upset for any reason, all while getting the others to listen closely, the chances are the problem won't be solved. I'll know ahead of time to express my concern different because the chatroom is not an effective means if doing so. You're even aware of that. Say if I were to state an issue through a blog post or on my message wall, I'll know how many of you care- whether immediate or not, because you'd take the time to see through to me and respond

Whether the person wanted my help and avoided me, I would have found a way to talk to them regardless. Because I truly value others more than myself, that's what I would have chosen to do.