Read None About It!

Read None About It! is the Season 36 premiere of HTF. In this episode, Pervy unlocks private moments and publishes them on the newspaper.

Starring

 * Pervy

Featuring

 * Pierce
 * Tycoon
 * Todd
 * Minttles
 * Dawn
 * Dusk
 * Splendid
 * Wooly

Appearances

 * Leaky
 * Russell
 * Oddity
 * Hippy
 * Dodo (on a newspaper)
 * Mouser (on several newspapers)

Plot
Pervy enters an office building to apply for a job in the newspaper business. The manager, Tycoon, reads over his resume and hires him. For his first duty, Pervy is sent out with a camera to report a news story. Looking around the city, he soon finds Leaky fixing a pipe, so he gets his camera set on her. However, Russell is seen fighting a giant squid at the nearby harbour. Pervy turns for the more interesting scoop, when Oddity passes by and Pervy chases her with his camera.

He trips and lands next to a peephole. He looks inside to find Pierce playing with unicorns, so he finally snaps a photo. The next day, Tycoon says the story was a hit and gives Pervy a large amount of pay. Meanwhile, Wooly reads the newspaper upside-down and Pierce passes by. He notices his secret has been revealed and vows revenge on the publisher.

Out for more news stories, Pervy looks through another peephole. He finds Todd in his room setting up a shrine of himself. Upon snapping anothe photo, Pervy later looks through another peephole. Minttles is seen smelling his breath, repulsed by it, then eating a handful of mints. Pervy comes to a house in the morning to find Dusk taking money from Dawn's room, then vise versa when he returns in the evening.

Later, Pervy has these stories published and they instantly become popular. Oblivious to him, most of the victims of his stories become greatly upset by their exposed secrets. As Dawn and Dusk have a fight, Minttles joins Pierce to pay back the publisher. Only Todd, who is happy about becoming more popular, continues reading.

Tycoon is proud of Pervy for his work and says one more big story could make him employee of the month. Pervy goes out looking for the biggest story yet, when a suited flying squirrel passes by him. Pervy looks through a peephole to find that squirrel change into Splendid. He eagerly takes a photo and rushes back to the building.

The next morning, Splendid sits at his table and reads the paper. He spits out his coffee realizing his secret has been published. He flies out for every newspaper in sight and vaporizes them, along with Hippy who was at a newspaper stand. The stand crumbles to reveal Pervy with his camera. Finally having found the publisher, Splendid sets out to destroy him. Pervy runs for his life as Splendid's eye lasers follow him.

Meanwhile Tycoon reads the paper in his office, and discovers in horror that his secret of designing clothes has been published. Before he could get angry, Dawn and Dusk clobber him. Pervy enters the building and rushes down the halls, before encountering the printing press. Splendid damages the machine to prevent any more papers from being made. Pervy sighs in relief, when Pierce and Minttles start beating him up. The machine explodes, slicing Pierce and Minttles with flying newspaper. After shoving the papers in a paper shredder, Splendid flies out of the roof, causing rubble to fall on Pervy.

A bruised Tycoon gets back up to find Todd at his desk, demanding to have his picture on every newspaper. Being taken to the printing press, Todd makes a foolish decision by laying on the conveyor belt. Later, Wooly opens a newspaper to reveal Todd's squashed face inside.

Moral
"Don't publish anybody's secrets except your own."

Deaths

 * 1) Hippy is vaporized.


 * 1) Pierce and Minttles are sliced by newspaper.
 * 2) Pervy is squashed by a piece of the roof.
 * 3) Todd is squashed by the printing press.

Trivia

 * This is the Season 36 premiere.
 * Pierce's secret is shown since Bully Gets Bullied.
 * Dodo and Mouser appear on a newspaper, with the latter appearing in several more after that.