Do What I Say

Plot
Laurie was walking by Old Hag's house on the street. Old Hag hated Laurie so much she decided to call the police and made a false report saying that Laurie killed Lily and Joy, or Stacy's and Josh's children. Laurie was about to get 430 years in prison, but because Lily and Joy were still alive, Laurie was free to go. Laurie was later standing by Old Hag's house.

Old Hag: Get the fuck away from my house you little punk bitch!

LAurie: Oh no. No. You don't get to talk to me like that anymore. Not unless you want me to tell the police and you will serve the 430 years I was gonna get.

The Next day.....

Old Hag: All right, I wrote some catchphrases for you. This may not be my best work. Skip to the last page.

Laurie: (reading) If you think I'm being snotty, talk to my nose. It's the one that needs a clean. Hey Crabby, if you think I'm being snotty, talk to my nose. It's the one that needs a clean.

Crabby: Good.

Old Hag: Here's your soda with no ice cubes in it.

Laurie: I hope you were careful, because I swear to God, if i find one bit of ice in there, I am going straight to the police.

Old Hag: I double checked.

later on, 11:00 A.M.

Laurie: You know, I never laughed at How I Met Your Mother, but I think it's the TV format. I'm preety sure if I watch it on a 75" flatscreen, I'm pretty sure I'll keep laughing until I have piss and shit all over my pants from laughing.

Old Hag: Can't.... hold........ TV........ (TV falls on her foot) I CAN'T TAKE THIS SHIT ANYMORE!!!!!!!! (stabs herself in the chest and commits suicide)

Deaths
Old Hag stabs herself.

Injuries
The 75" flatscreen falls onto Old Hag's foot.