Slow and Painful Wins the Race

Slow and Painful Wins the Race is an episode of HTFF. This episode introduces Marshal, the racing marshal whose lower half is missing.

Starring

 * Marshal
 * Flash

Featuring

 * The Mole
 * Jerky
 * Lumpy

Appearances

 * Generic Tree Friends

Plot
Marshal is at a stadium where a big race is about to occur. Flash and the Mole bring their cars to the starting time. Jerky, another racer, is determined to beat them in the race, and insults them. This gets him into a scuffle with Flash until Marshal breaks them up.

The racers return to their cars as Lumpy waves a flag for the race to start. Since Marshal was still in the way, he is narrowly avoided by the dashing cars and topples over. Lumpy helps him back up and apologizes. While the Mole drives his car in random directions, Flash and Jerky are neck-and-neck. The two try to knock each others' cars off the track. Their rivalry grows stronger as they complete more turns.

On the final turn, it comes down to either Jerky and Flash. However, Jerky distracts Flash and finally knocks his car off course, sending it to crash. Marshal goes to see if he is okay, which he thankfully is. But with his car totalled, he would need another set of wheels to finish the race. Flash hitches a ride on Marshal's back and uses him as a race car.

Jerky turns his head to laugh at his competitor, but nearly drives into a wall for this foolish act. He turns around at the last second and smashes into Flash and Marshal. Jerky gets back up and, despite a broken leg, tries to push his car the rest of the way. As for Flash, his lower body has been severed from the accident. Marshal has been separated from his contraption. So Flash hops into it and uses it to finish the race.

Lumpy is sure it will be a photo finish when the two racers meet up again. Flash falls off Marshal's contraption by going over a crack, to Jerky's expense. But he gets another idea and ties one of the wheels to his intestine. Jerky's leg snaps in half a few inches from the finish line, preventing him from going any further. He topples and hits his head on the car, briefly starting the engine and making it the car back up into him.

Flash's intestine touches the finish line, meaning that he has won the race. Lumpy blows his whistle as the crowd cheers on. The wheel attached to Flash's intestine continues rolling, until it goes up a wall and hits him in the face, killing him before he could accept the trophy. Meanwhile, Marshal tries to crawl back to his contraption. The Mole runs him over and then proceeds to make a tire change.

Deaths

 * 1) Jerky's head is flattened by his car.
 * 2) Flash is hit in the head by a wheel.
 * 3) Marshal is ran over by the Mole.

Injuries

 * 1) Jerky fractures his leg and it snaps in half when he tries walking on it.
 * 2) Flash is severed from the waist down.

Trivia

 * The title is a pun on the saying slow and steady wins the race. Going by the title, both Jerky and Flash's deaths were quite brutal and prolonged.