Dunce Upon a Time (fan version)

The episode begins with Russell and Fizzles, two poor people, sitting outside their house and starving. Suddenly, Fizzles decides to milk the skinny cow. She puts a bucket under the cow's udders and tries to milk it, but when no milk comes out, Russell decides to send Fizzles to town to sell the cow. Along the way, Fizzles runs into Sheila and Sheldon who tells her to buy the magic beans who look like coffee beans. Fizzles happily agrees the trade and takes home the beans. Fizzles shows Russell the magic beans and gives one of them to him. She puts the magic beans in a cup of water in which the beans magically absorbs and drinks it. Russell saves his bean for later.

That night, Fizzles has a dream about drinking a giant cup of starbucks coffee by sucking on a straw. After her dream, a beanstalk is growing out of her mouth. As two leaves on stems come out of her eyes, the beanstalk continues to grow into the sky, bringing the house along with it.

When morning arrives, Russell wakes up, not knowing what happened last night, looks out the window and yarrs. He sees a castle on top of the clouds and decides to go knock on the door. A giant Wooly steps out, having been interrupted chopping a carrot. When he comes out, he screams and chases Russell until he hides in a mouse hole. Wooly puts a mouse trap near the hole and gets back to making his stew. He starts to choose a jar containing Joey, Coney, Splendid, Disco Bear (who is dancing), a scared Puffy, Howl and the skeleton of an unknown character, choosing Howl in the jar. Wooly takes Howl out of his jar and hits his head against the corner of a bowl, killing him. He cracks Howl's head in half and his brain comes out like an egg's yolk into the bowl.

He then grabs Coney and tries to crack his head open too, but he is protected by his cone collar. Instead, Wooly uses a nutcracker to crack his head and blood sparys into his eyes. While Wooly goes to the bathroom and washes his eyes, Russell uses Howls corpse on the mousetrap and launches himself towards the shelf with the jars on it. All the jars shatter which makes Wooly hear this and comes out getting angry.

Wooly walks towards Joey, Splendid, Puffy and Russell, accidently stepping on Disco Bear who was dancing. Not concerned about the glass, Wooly scrapes Disco Bear's splattered remains on a chair. Wooly suddenly sees the toaster moving, knowing someone in there. He turns the toaster on but nothing happens, so he puts a fork in the toaster, electrocuting himself. After repeating the same thing two more times and gives out. When the toast comes up, Puffy was impaled with the fork.

Splendid hides under a cup to fool Wooly, but he then uses two more cups and scrambles them up like a magic trick. The two cups have Splendid's body and arms and the third has his head. Wooly says "Ta-Da!" Suddenly he hears a sneeze in the pepper grinder with Joey in it. Wooly kills him by grinding the pepper grinder and shredding Joey in bits.

He turns and sees Russell running up a big staircase, and chases him upstairs while saying "Fee Fi Fo Fum!" Russell comes into a room with a long gold haired Lammy who is spinning gold on a wheel. Wooly's hand comes in and nearly grabs Russell, causing him to tie Lammy's hair around his waist, jumping out the window. But, before he hits the ground, he can't go any further so he pulls and rips her scalp off.

Russell is finally back on the ground, until he sees an angry Wooly climbing down the beanstalk. Russell screams and grabs an axe and chops down the beanstalk who is still in Fizzles's stomach. This causes Wooly and part of his castle to collaspe. Meanwhile, Sheila and Sheldon are arguing at each other. When Wooly falls to the ground, his body makes a bridge in which Sheila and Sheldon decide to use it, abandoning the cow. However, a part of Wooly's castke falls down, killing them and also Wooly.

Russell is happy that the cow returned to him and he pulls out his bean and feeds it to the cow. When the cow eats the bean, a leaf sprouts out of it's udder.

Trivia

 * Meatzy was originally going to be the giant.
 * Russell has a patch on his pants and his hat is worn out throughout most of the episode.