Board Thread:Fun and Games/@comment-12343352-20140703223455/@comment-28396600-20170803232305

And now......redneck jokes:

-You might be a redneck if "loading the dishwasher" means getting your wife drunk.

-You might be a redneck if you've ever cut your grass and found a car.

-You might be a redneck if you own a home that is mobile and 5 cars that aren't.

-You might be a redneck if you think the stock market has a fence around it.

-You might be a redneck if your stereo speakers used to belong to the Drive-In theater.

-You might be a redneck if your boat has not left the drive-way in 15 years.

-You might be a redneck if you own a homemade fur coat.

-You might be a redneck if you burn your yard rather than mow it.

-You might be a redneck if your wife's job requires her to wear an orange vest.

-You might be a redneck if you were shooting pool when any of your kids were born.

-You might be a redneck if you have the local taxidermist's number on speed dial.

-You might be a redneck if you've ever hit a deer with your car......deliberately.

-You might be a redneck if your school fight song was Dueling Banjos.

-You might be a redneck if you think a chainsaw is a musical instrument.

-You might be a redneck if you've ever given rat traps as a Christmas gift.

-You might be a redneck if your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat

-You might be a redneck if your mother has "ammo" on her Christmas list

-You might be a redneck if there are more than five McDonald's bags in your car

-You might be a redneck if the Home Shopping operator recognizes your voice

-You might be a redneck if you've ever bathed with flea and tick soap

-You might be a redneck if you think "taking out the trash" means taking your in-laws to a movie.

-You might be a redneck if you think a hot tub is a stolen bathroom fixture.

-You might be a redneck if people hear your car a long time before they see it.

-You might be a redneck if the gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot

-You might be a redneck if you prefer car keys to Q-tips.

-You might be a redneck if you take a fishing pole into Sea World.

-You might be a redneck if you think a turtleneck is an ingredient for soup.

-You might be a redneck if you go to a stock car race and don't need a program.

-You might be a redneck if you filled your deer tag on the golf course

-You might be a redneck if you own more than 3 shirts with cut off sleeves

-You might be a redneck if the directions to your house include "Turn off the paved road"

-You might be a redneck if someone asks to see your ID and you show them your belt buckle

-You might be a redneck if your other truck is made by John Deere.

-You might be a redneck if there is a stuffed possum anywhere in your house.

-You might be a redneck if you have refused to watch the Academy Awards since Smokey and the Bandit was snubbed for best picture

-You might be a redneck if you consider Outdoor Life deep reading

-You might be a redneck if your mother keeps a spit cup on the ironing board

-You might be a redneck if you've ever worn a tube top to a wedding.

--You might be a redneck if you think a Volvo is a part of the woman's anatomy

-You might be a redneck if you've ever been too drunk to fish

-You might be a redneck if you've ever financed a tattoo

-You might be a redneck if Jack Daniels makes your list of "most admired people".

-You might be a redneck if fifth grade is referred to as "your senior year"

-You might be a redneck if you're a lite beer drinker because you only star drinking when it gets light

-You might a redneck if on your application under "SEX" you put "As often as possible".