News You Lose

News You Lose is a HTFF episode. In this episode, Cuddles & Toothy make their own news show!

Starring

 * Cuddles
 * Toothy

Featuring

 * Devious
 * Lumpy

Appearances

 * Russell
 * Scurvy
 * Cro-Marmot

Plot
"Is it on?" says Cuddles, tapping his microphone. "Ah, yes. Hello, Happy Tree Town! Welcome to the first episode of Happy Tree News! In this episode, we'll be looking at the story of Sniffles finally figuring out what the meaning of life is and the great battle between Russell & Scurvy! But first, we'll be looking at the story behind Devious' evil worm plan and why he did it. Over to you, Toothy." Toothy is seen sitting in front of a TV with a picture of a worm on it. "Thank you, Cuddles. Now, if you recall what happened sometime in the 30th season, you'll probably be recalling Devious and his army of worms. In retrospect, it seems REALLY stupid. Like, seriously! Who the heck would have an army of worms? They're WORMS! Anyways, here's an interview of Devious." The camera cuts to Devious in his lair, with Toothy holding a microphone to his mouth. "So, Devious! What made you come up with the idea for an army of worms?" "How'd you get into my lair?" "Why did you build the Wormotron?" "GET OUT!" "Did you ever cons-AAAAH!" Devious throws Toothy into his carbonate machine and he freezes. "That's enough of that." says Devious as he fires a laser at a passing tree friend. It cuts back to Toothy's newsroom, where Toothy is still frozen in the carbonate machine. "Ah ah ih uh ohoohuh. Ah ooh ooh, uhooh." It cuts back to Cuddles. "Thank you for your delightful choice of words, Toothy. Meanwhile, we see Russell & Scurvy battling AGAIN! Here's me, on the scene. Wait, ME? AAAAH!" Cuddles smashes through a window, unaware that he is on the 23rd floor of a building. A few minutes later, Cuddles is at the scene with a black eye, scratches and broken legs. "Well, *pant* *wheeze* we are on the, *pant* scene of the, *huff* *puff* scene of the, I need to take a lie down..." Cuddles faints, revealing in the background that they have both sliced eachother in half. It cuts back to the empty newsroom. Lumpy walks in with glasses and a tie. "It seems that both of our newsreaders have suffered great injuries. It's a good thing I'm their vice-newsreader!" Lumpy picks up a piece of paper. "Lets see here...Aha! Sniffles has reportedly found the meaning of life. Apparently, the meaning of life is-AH!" Devious comes in with his laser and shoots at Lumpy. Lumpy dodges and it hits the wall. The building wobbles, as it has been turned into jelly. Lumpy is not amused and smashes Devious through the window next to the one Cuddles smashed. "Anyways, the meaning of life is-AGAIN?" Scurvy's ship crashes into the building, as no one was driving it. Lumpy is seen impaled on the mast. Suddenly, the whole building collapses. Toothy, still frozen in the machine, falls out and lands next to Cro-Marmot. Cro-Marmot immediately falls in love with him. The iris closes on Toothy's face, as he groans.

Moral
The best stories come from the heart!

Deaths

 * A tree friend is turned into jelly
 * Russell & Scurvy slice each other in half
 * Devious may have died when he fell 23 floors (debatable because Cuddles survived it)
 * Lumpy is impaled with a ship mast
 * Numerous tree friends are crushed in the collapsed building

Injuries

 * Toothy is frozen
 * Cuddles falls 23 floors and faints
 * Devious also falls 23 floors (if he didn't die)
 * Numerous tree friends are injured inthee collapsed building.

Trivia

 * There may or may not be a sequel.