Coffee is a fan character of Happy Tree Friends. She is Ren (TAT)’s fiancé.
Character bio[]
Coffee Been was born in Puerto Rico. She and her parents lived there until she was two, when they moved to New Jersey. Now Coffee grew up during a period in time where racism was very widespread, even more so than it is today. In fact, she grew up during segregation. Coffee went to school with several kids who hated blacks thanks to their parents, and she asked her father how to deal with them. Her father told her that the only way to deal with racist white people was with force. So she dealt with those bullies from her school by beating them up. Most of them buzzed off after she beat them up, but for the ones that didn’t and seeked revenge, she messed them up over and over again. It was around this time that she also discovered the art of grey necromancy. She discovered an old book on necromantic techniques while on a walk in the woods to clear her head, and when she found the book, she practiced the techniques in it religiously. With the help of her new powers, she was able to summon big skeleton hands to hold teachers at her school in place so that they could do nothing but watch while she beat up racist students. Later on, after she’d completed her education, Coffee got a job at Campbell’s back when it was in Camden, New Jersey. She had the job to put the labels on the cans. It was a good, if repetitive job. Coffee was in fact looked to for assistance quite often among the team there and was like the unofficial manager. When she got to be senior citizen, she wanted more. She quit working at Campbell’s and decided to apply for a managerial position at one of New Jersey’s many diners. When Coffee landed the position she applied for, some of her gal pals from Campbell’s took her on a trip to Atlantic City to celebrate. Now it had been Coffee’s dream to open her own coffee shop one day, but when she’d spent a few days in Atlantic City, she realized her true dream: to open the world’s first coffee shop and casino hybrid. When Coffee caught wind of the new slang use of the name Karen for angry, entitled women who ask for the manager and are racist, she bought a cane. Not because she was having trouble walking, no. Her legs were just fine. She bought the cane so she could bean any Karens who came to her with ridiculous childish complaints. And for the next few years, she left nasty bumps on the heads of lots of Karens with that cane, sometimes while big skeleton hands or zombies summoned by her powers held them down. She didn’t give any type of fuck what they said in their Yelp reviews or their Facebook live-streams. It was actually while fighting off a Karen that she met the love of her life, a chihuahua named Ren Blackquill. After she’d struck this particular Karen with her cane, he stabbed her with his fork, and they both pushed that Karen out of the door. When talking with Ren, Coffee told Ren about her past and how she’s violent and angry because of a bunch of racist white people from back in her day. He was violent and angry too from being bullied in school back in his day and having his little brothers being blatantly favored over him. Coffee invited Ren to come and live with her in her apartment at The Victor after a while, and after six months of him living with her, he proposed to her in a way that knocked her socks off. He knelt on the head of a Karen, one who claimed a CITY PARK as her property and they’d beaten up to death after she pulled a gun on them. Ren knelt on the Karen’s head and pulled out the most beautiful ring Coffee had ever seen, and of course she accepted. A few days after their engagement, Coffee came up with a plan for her and Ren. They could move to Atlantic City, have a seaside wedding when they arrived, and she could fulfill her dream of opening the world’s first coffee house/casino, and he could fulfill his dream of being a lighthouse keeper. Ren loves the idea, and both he and Coffee are still working hard to raise the money for their plans to this day.
Trivia[]
- The little white spots on her shirt are rhinestones.