Dunce Upon A Time is a HTF Fanon episode.
- Liftelle and Shiftette
- Robo Star
- Dead Generic Tree Friend
The episode begins with Cryptie and Brushy, playing two poor people, sitting outside their house and shivering as it is cold and windy out. Suddenly, Cryptie gets an idea and goes to a pen, where an extremely scrawny cow is being kept. He puts a wooden bucket under the cow's udders, and tries to milk it, but when no milk comes out, Brushy sends him to sell the cow for some food. Along the way, Cryptie runs into Liftelle and Shiftette, who bribe him with beans by lying and telling him they're made of werewolf skin. Cryptie happily agrees the trade and takes the beans home where he shows Brushy, much to her chagrin. He then eats all but one bean, and Brushy saves her bean for later.
That night, Cryptie has a dream where he is getting a trophy for finding a big-foot and taking photos for it. After smiling at his success, he puts the trophy in his mouth and begins sucking on it. We then come back to reality where it is revealed that a giant beanstalk is growing out of his mouth. As two leaves on stems come out of his eyes, the beanstalk continues growing into the sky, bringing the house along with it.
The next morning, Brushy wakes up, not knowing the events of last night that happened, and looks out the window. She sees a stone castle sitting on top of the clouds, and decides to go knock on the door. A very large Pierce stumbles out, having been interrupted chopping a carrot. When he looks down and sees Brushy, he screams and chases Brushy until she hides in a mouse hole. Pierce puts a mouse trap near the hole and gets back to making his food. He then looks at a shelf with jars containing Trippy, Robo Star, Pranky, Gloomy (Who is surprisingly smiling), a scared Drama, Superspeed, and the skeleton of a generic tree friend, choosing what he needs.
The first victim is Superspeed, who is taken out of his jar and has his head knocked against the corner of a bowl. His head is then cracked in half like an egg, and his brain comes out like the egg's yolk into the bowl. He then grabs Robo Star and tries to do the same thing to him, but he is protected by his cybernetic helmet. Upset, Pierce uses a nutcracker to squeeze Robo Star's neck, until half of his head cracks off, spraying blood into Pierce's eyes.
Pierce goes into the bathroom to wash his eyes, and Brushy, who has seen the whole thing, tries to save the rest of the gang. She uses Superspeed's corpse on the mousetrap to launch herself towards the shelf with the jars on it. As she heads towards Gloomy, however, she turns into a panicked expression as she hits the shelf and they all fall to the ground, the jars shattering on impact. Pierce hears this and comes out of the bathroom, getting angry when he sees his future victims escaping.
He walks towards Brushy, Pranky, Trippy and Drama, accidentally stepping on a crying Gloomy in the process and impaling his foot with the glass. Not concerned about the glass, a disgusted Pierce scrapes Gloomy's splattered remains on a chair. He turns and sees the toaster moving, and knowing there's someone in there, he turns the toaster on. However, nothing happens, so he stabs the toaster with a fork, electrocuting himself in the process. After repeating the same thing two more times, he gives up and storms off, the fork still in the toaster. When the toast comes up, it's revealed that Drama was impaled with the fork.
Pranky hides under a cup and fools Pierce, but the clever porcupine then uses two more cups and scrambles them up, as if a magic trick. When he opens the first two cups, it reveals Pranky's body and arms, and the cup in the middle has Pranky's head. Impressed, Pierce says "Ta-Da!", When suddenly the pepper grinder shakes and a sneezing sound is heard, causing Pierce to come over to it. We see that Trippy is hiding in the pepper grinder, but Pierce kills him by grinding the pepper grinder and slowly shredding Trippy in bits, until the only thing left is his head.
He turns and sees Brushy running up a big staircase, and chases her upstairs until she comes in a room, encountering a long gold haired Trixie who is spinning gold on a wheel. Pierre's hand comes in and nearly grabs Brushy, causing her to panic and tie Trixie's hair around her waist, jumping out the window using the hair as a bungee cord. But, before she hits the ground, she stops in mid air, as she can't go any farther due to Trixie being chained to the wall by her ankle. The tremendous pull of Trixie's hair can't take the stress of her being chained to the wall and causes Trixie to break her neck, then pull and rip her scalp off. Brushy continues falling, until she sees that she was only a few feet above the ground, so she manages to make it to safety.
She thinks it's all over, until she looks up and sees a furious Pierce climbing down the beanstalk. She screams and runs, grabbing an axe, and chopping down the beanstalk (also hacking a still alive Cryptie's stomach in the process). This causes Pierce and part of his castle to collapse. Meanwhile, Liftelle and Shiftette are arguing at each other about how they are going to get over a ravine they encountered, still with the cow. When Pierce falls to the earth, his body stretches over the ravine making a bridge, and Liftelle and Shiftette decide to use it, abandoning the cow. However, halfway across the bridge, they look up and a part of Pierce's castle falls down on them killing them. The piece of castle also rips through Pierce's torso, cutting him in half.
The cow walks up to Brushy, making her cheer up immediately when she sees him, and she pulls out her bean, deciding to feed it to the cow. When the cow eats the bean, however, a leaf immediately sprouts out of it's udder.