Gems the Breaks (Fan Version)

Liftelle and Shiftette in the fan version of Gems the Breaks

Splendont in the fan version of Gems the Breaks

Splendont, again, in the fan version of Gems the Breaks

Roles

Starring

• Splendont
• Liftelle and Shiftette

Appearing

• Guddles
• Superspeed
• Scales
• Wooly
• Jussy
• Toothy
• The Beaver
• Lumpy
• Mom
• Baby
• The Cursed Idol (only likeness)

Plot

Liftelle and Shiftette walk out of a museum, arms full of loot from a robbery. They are shocked, however, to find Splendont hovering above the exit, grinning down at them. They throw up their hands in fright, tossing their loot everywhere. A jewel encrusted chest, one of the items they took, opens and a green glowing acorn, kryptonut, falls out. The rays given off by the kryptonut make Splendont nauseous, causing him to vomit. As the sisters begin collecting their stolen goods and put the kryptonut away, Splendont begins to feel better. Shiftette opens the box again and Splendont vomits once more. Liftelle and Shiftette realize the kryptonut serves as Splendont's weakness and before leaving, they open the box several more times to make Splendont throw up.

Later, a sick Splendont lies in bed with a thermometer in his mouth and a hot water bottle on his head. He hears an alarm go off and flies out of bed to investigate, putting his duty before his health. Liftelle and Shiftette have just robbed a jewelry store, but before they can get far, they see Splendont wearing a radiation suit for protection. The sisters present the kryptonut, but Splendont is unaffected. This changes, however, when Shiftette pulls down Splendont's pants exposing him in his underwear causing his legs to wobble and his knees to buckle. He falls down in the road and is hit by a school bus. The crash destroys the bus and causes Guddles, Superspeed, and Scales to fly through the windshield and into a wood chipper operated by Wooly. Splendont removes himself, uninjured, from the grill of the wrecked bus and takes off once more to stop the dastardly duo.

Liftelle and Shiftette have taken over Jussy and Toothy's lemonade stand, taking the money and tying up the helpless girl and boy. Splendont tries to fly down at them, only to be forced away by the kryptonut. He flies so fast he hits the moon, where he tries to think of a way to attack at a distance. Getting an idea, he uses his laser vision on Liftelle and Shiftette. Due to the extreme distance, this only increases the temperature slightly, which Shiftette solves by drinking some lemonade. Splendont then takes out a thick pair of glasses and fires the laser through the lens, magnifying the heat. This destroys a plane being flown by The Beaver (killing him in the process) and burns the rope binding Jussy and Toothy, setting them free. Unfortunately, it gets too hot and sets them, as well as the lemonade stand's profits, on fire. Liftelle and Shiftette see this and run away, prompting Splendont to follow them with his deadly laser.

Always obeying the rules, Splendont stops the motion of his laser when he comes upon a red light at a street corner. Lumpy, whose eyes are purple and he can't see to well (reference to Letter Late than Never) pulls up behind the laser and begins honking when the laser doesn't move as the light turns green. Annoyed by this, Splendont deliberately destroys Lumpy's car. He once more pursues Liftelle and Shiftette, accidentally vaporizing Baby who plays on a swing set. Liftelle and Shiftette come upon a lake, which they jump into. Splendont tries to run his laser over them, but the beam is too weak to affect them in the water where they wear diving gear.

Fed up, Splendont takes out a set of binoculars and fires his laser beam on the lake again. The extreme heat of the laser causes the water to evaporate, leaving nothing but dead fish and the dead and swollen bodies of Liftelle and Shiftette. Splendont flies down, once more dressed in a radiation suit, and crushes the kryptonut into powder. He takes his helmet off and blows the dust away, only to have a gust of wind blow the dust right back in his face. The skin on Splendont's face begins falling off and he starts vomiting uncontrollably, hitting Jussy and Toothy with a massive wave of it. He tries holding his vomit in, but this causes his cheeks to swell until he bursts. Back at the lemonade stand, a tired and hot Wooly drinks a glass of juice. The drink proves to be too hotter than he expected, as he spits it out and fans his burning tongue.

Moral

"Pressure Makes Diamonds!"