Happy Tree Friends Fanon Wiki
Advertisement
Werescrooged

A top hat-sporting Wooly comes across Lumpy, who is wearing a Santa hat and ringing a bell next to a red bucket for donations. Wooly silently removes the coins from the bucket and drops a pebble inside, leaving Lumpy to assume Wooly made a donation. Wooly enters a toystore he owns and walks to the back, where Superspeed is working on a pair of wind-up, chattering teeth. Wooly hangs his hat on a coat rack and takes a pair of teeth out of a box full of them. He twists the knob, but the teeth don't activate. Superspeed reaches over to take the toy from him, when suddenly the teeth activate and bites one of Superspeed's fingers off.

The finger bounces off Wooly's head and lands near Fuddles, a customer in the store. She picks the finger up and it squirts blood all over her face. Despite Wooly and Superspeed's fears, Fuddles laughs and shows it to Toothy who enjoys it just as much. Believing that he will be rich, Wooly turns to Superspeed with grinning eyes and a very careless plan. Superspeed, realizing what Wooly is thinking, backs up and slips on a pool of his blood on the floor. Wooly saves him from falling in the box of (now activated) chattering teeth, but he lets Superspeed fall in upon seeing Fuddles and Toothy playing with the severed finger. Superspeed screams in pain and terror as he is bitten and shredded to pieces. Wooly, on the other hand, only sees dollar signs.

He begins selling Superspeed's body parts and organs at steadily increasing costs. The box of Superspeed's remains runs empty just as Scales enters, willing to pay an entire briefcase full of money for a piece of Superspeed. Wooly looks around and spots one of Superspeed's kidneys atop a high toy shelf. Upon trying to reach it, Wooly accidentally knocks a spinning top off the shelf which stabs him in the eye. He attempts to pull it out of his eye by yanking on a string, but this only causes the top to spin and burrow itself deeper into his eye. He finally pulls it out, also removing his eye and nerve fibers in the process.

Scales begins to leave, but Wooly beckons him to wait. Thinking quickly, he ties his nerve fibers to the end of a paddle, and uses his eye as a paddle ball. Scales is not amused and he leaves the store. Suddenly, the toy shelf Wooly jumped on earlier begins to fall over. Wooly tries to outrun it, but he ends up getting the lower part of his body crushed by the shelf. His cash register then falls on his upper back, inflating his head and hands. Finally, Wooly's head is crushed by his piggy bank, sending his teeth into the air and onto the counter. Lumpy then enters the store and, in a sense of poetic justice, takes Wooly's teeth while paying for it with the pebble Wooly gave him earlier.

Advertisement